Sunracer

Image by Werner Kunz (werkunz1) via Flickr

Dear Readers,

  There is a mythological theme that exists across most Earth-based societies as regards the sun.  The idea is usually that it is some kind of fiery chariot that races across the sky in an attempt to chase down the moon.  Either they have fallen in love, or some other sort of origin is given for the sun's mad dash to attain the unattainable.

  I've spent many an idle hour trying to track down the origin of this myth, given that it seems to be ubiquitous in Earth-based primitive cultures.  Finally, today, I have found a source.  It seems that this myth stems from the most curious of origins.  Below the Jump.

  Always,

   Dr. John Skylar
   Chairman
   Department of Anachronism
   University of Constantinople

 May 27th, 28-- CE

Hey fanz! Today I'm getting set for the big trip! It's the GRAND SOCIAL MEDIA EXPERIMENT, brought to by your good friend Timothy.com, the social engineer to end all social engineers.  That's right, a-holes.  By this time this week (dont you love time travel?) I will be the best known human being on the planet!  Time to get in the car.

May 27th, 13,4-- BCE

Well here I am, and by virtue of my uplink, you should be seeing this right after my last fan post.  I know this project could turn into one of those longwinded things, but even the longer posts, I promise, will be less than twenty lines.  Who the hell writes twenty lines?  Anyway, I just went realtime on-location.  There's nothing yet of Paris, of course.  Just the rivers and the trees.  I think I see some contemps over the next hill.

May 32nd, 13,4-- BCE

The natives are pretty cool!  They understand what I'm saying when I use teh translator, and I think I've met them all.  It's crazy, there's only like ten of them.  They'res that many ppl in my social collectiv back home, and we live in like two rooms.  They live in a giant forest.  A giant forest!  It's at least 100 yd across.

June 1st, 13,4-- BCE

Just discovered that the car can't drive at night.  Stupid fucken soler panels and crappy batteries.  They're supposed to hold a charge!  How am I supposed to meet everyone on the planet if I can only drive during the day?  IT's not liek there's roads or anything.

Oh.  Bill just sent me a message.  Turns out there's only like 100,000 people alive anyway.  I can probably do it just driving during the day.

June 10th, 13,4-- BCE

Man, gotta do laundry soon.  I'm in Bolivia...no, Bohemia...acorrding to the atlas.  Man, shit's crazy.  Got attacked by some nutso guys with huge chins the other day.  They couldnt talk tho.  Lots of spears.  Scared the crap out of me.  Got to a village.  People here call me "Sun-man" because I can't drive at night.  Somehow they already heard about me.

June 15th, 13,4-- BCE

Got to Romania.  The people here keep saying Im some kinda god.  I'm totally done with Europe tho.  Scanner says I met everybody.  Or at least someone who knows everybody.  Done here for now.  Gotta get back in the car before night.

July 20th, 13,4-- BCE

I kno it's been a long time since my last update.  Well, not for you guys I guess.  These are just one day for you.  My hair's grown out.  Clothes have holes.  Don't know how to fix that.  Gun still works, though.  Thank god the gun still works.  The crazy bigchins are all over Russia.  There aren't too many regular people.  The ones I meet tell me that it's hard to get further East.  Too many bigchins.  I'll still try though.  I'll post tomorrow.  Should hit Afghanistan by then.

[This is the last entry, but that is sensible as the myth is (mostly) Indo-European]