Monday Muse: The Song of Naegling

Image via Wikipedia

Dear Readers,

I have exciting news to share.  Something came in from the Augury Department that spans such a long thread of history that I am stunned.  It is, apparently, an inscriptional squeeze.  For those unfamiliar, a squeeze is a type of impression made when you take specialized paper and press it up against a carved inscription, thenuse a "squeeze brush" to produce a copy of the inscription and inscribed surface.  It is a lot like when you take tracing paper and use the edge of a pencil to copy a texture underneath, however, this method is less rough on the original.

At any rate, this source comes from a squeeze made of what must be the most exciting weapon in history, a weapon that according to the poem, Hrothgar called Naegling.  However, the text, which I have worked nonstop to translate, seems to differ from your time stream's established account of Beowulf.  Furthermore, the weapon's records go far past the end of that story, and even into your future.

I thought it would make a most excellent pick for Monday Muse.  See it below the cut.

I am weapon.I served Eliezer, to Dammaseq.
And I waited
'til Hector found me at Troy.

I fled with Aeneas to Carthage
But abandoned him
When he forsook Queen Dido.

Hannibal took me
To get revenge for her
But with Scipio
I returned again to Rome.


Caesar then took me to Gaul.
 And there I hid.
There, I waited and wandered.


Til Beowulf raised me against
Grendel's mother
And Hrothgar gave me
My name.


For Clovis I was an axe.
For Charles, instead,
A hammer.


For Louis,
I was faith.
But for Phillip
I was a sword once more.


Then I slept, until Napoleon
Fixed me to his musket.
A bayonet I remained.


I was Pickett's undoing

Image via Wikipedia

And at Ypres,
I learned to be the gun.
At Normandy I was garand.


Then once more, I slept.
'Til it fell apart.

'Til Strongman's day.


He read these words,
And learned from me,
The lessons
That made him King.


When he slept,
I went to Mars.
Where I belonged.

I stormed Olympus.
I conquered Ararat.
My name is Weapon.
Take me home.


Always,

Dr. John Skylar
Chairman
Department of Anachronism
University of Constantinople