Dear Readers,
For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you might have been alarmed to read my regular updates during our recent severe bout of internal politics. As you can imagine, the nature of our University makes it so that some things are settled by literal conflict between our faculty and administrators, often resulting in the (temporary) deaths of some of my colleagues. So far I have managed to avoid dying a second time, as I wasted my first death on my journey here, like everyone else.
This recent conflict stemmed from concerns about the blog I've been keeping. This blog, specifically. Loukas Notaras, our provost, felt that in contacting a time stream very close to my original, I created a situation where I might influence the progress of time. Rather than the seminar I intended for last Friday, this Friday I'll post an explanation of the dynamics involved there and the reasons that I do not believe I will cause any major damage via this blog. Especially given that the University exists not in the future, but parallel to all times.
Now, Notaras's first move was to kill George Sphrantzes, who he knew would be an instant ally against him. Those two have killed each other so frequently during my time here that I have lost count by now.
Thankfully, Francis and Amelia succeeded in mounting a counter-offensive along with their graduate students, and freed me from the seige that Notaras laid outside my office. This avoided any need to involved President Constantine XI, which would have ended poorly for all involved.
I kept everyone updated of the seige's progress via Twitter, as my ability to post here was cut by Notaras early on. I now know that Sphrantzes died in defense of our departmental connection to Twitter, and for that I must openly commend him.
While I am less than chuffed with Provost Notaras for taking our argument to arms, I understand why he did it. From now on business should continue as usual at the University, given that my Department seems to have carried the day.
Always,
Dr. John Skylar
Chairman
Department of Anachronism
University of Constantinople
So if you can all kill each other without fear of long-term repurcusions, why do you worry about murder at the hands of your colleagues. Is it because the process remains unpleasant?
ReplyDeleteIt hurts! Also, in the time it takes to get up and ambulatory again, your opponents can get a lot accomplished.
ReplyDeleteSo wait, what if you put your rivals into a medically-induced coma? It's certainly no worse than murder in the morals department, and it would seem to be more useful.
ReplyDelete