Dear Readers,
Yesterday I began to tell the story of mankind's return to Earth, far in the future, in a time stream where the planet will be lost from humanity's records. We left the major players when they discovered a major peril, a fail-deadly system left on and ready to annihilate them.
Today, the conclusion.
Always,
Dr. John Skylar
Chairman
Department of Anachronism
University of Constantinople
"You know what this means, right?" Not everyone possessed Jan's historical expertise.
Mick shook his head.
"If the signal is reliable, it means that an old nuclear arsenal thinks it is under attack. From us."
His lips formed a line, then broke, "And what does it plan to do about us?"
"As far as I know, launch itself. I'll need to talk to the ship historian. I estimate we have thirty to forty-five minutes to solve this one, or the search for Earth becomes humanity's most expensive barbecue."
Mick did not blink, "Can you be sure of that estimate?"
Jan shook her head, "No, of course not. We might have ten minutes. I'm optimistic. Get me the damn ship."
He re-tuned his handheld to connect with the ship.
She heard a click through the earbud, then, "This is the Captain. Advance party, are you trying to raise us?"
"Yes sir," Jan answered, "We've encountered something of a problem."
"And that is..."
"Sir, it's...Well, why not listen for yourself." She nodded to Mick.
He tapped away at the screen and transmitted the message recording to their vessel.
After it played out, the Captain spoke again, "I can see where that would be a problem. Regulations would say, on any other world, we get back into the atmosphere and head out. Your recommendation, Lieutenant?"
"I don't know, sir. I wanted to talk with the ship's Historian. There might be a way to shut this thing down. We might have time." Jan rubbed her forehead. She saw no
"All right, I'll have a chat with Rich, then."
They listened over the line while he engaged the in-ship communications system. They heard only the Captain's half of the conversation.
"Rich? Yeah, it's Captain Vine.
"Yes, well, I'm fine, thank you for asking, but we have a bit of a problem here, it's-
"I was getting to that. There's this message, I've transmitted it to your console."
They waited while the ship's historian listened to the tape himself.
"Rich, where do you get off telling me to stop worrying-
"Oh, it's a film. I see. And they have such a device in it?
"Well, what do they do in the film, then?
"That's not really an option. Rich, can we get realistic here?
"Hmm. All right. Thirty minutes, you think? I'll work out some plans."
They heard a click while the Captain closed the line.
"All right, Jan, here's how it is. Looks like this thing is real and the missiles probably still work. We've got thirty minutes until they launch. That means 25 minutes to come up with a solution. Get back to the ship and to my pod immediately. Don't tell anyone else about this."
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Weekend Worlds: Directions to Earth, Part I
Dear Readers,
For your weekends, I like to provide you with a long, luxuriant story that examines life in a time stream that my Department studies. This series is called "Weekend Worlds," and all of its posts are two parts, the first on Saturday, the second on Sunday.
This week's edition refers to a time stream where the Earth will be abandoned by humans at some point in the future. The story specifically tells what we know about the day when they finally return to their erstwhile home, when they rediscover where it is located.
Always,
Dr. John Skylar
Chairman
Department of Anachronism
University of Constantinople
Elements of consciousness slammed back into Jan's mind like arrows into a target. First, wakefulness. Then sight--darkness--hearing--piercing alarm--touch--cold metal--smell--medical, sterile--taste--blood.
Then her awareness came back. She yelled it aloud, as if compelled by ancient instinct, "LIEUTENANT JAN OLSEN, SERIAL NUMBER 3-6-5-9-2-8-2-9."
Her voice dropped, "Posting: Navigator and Mission Specialist, United Human Vessel Le Sacre du Printemps."
The ritualistic part of Jan's trained response over, the hatch that sealed her in slowly turned transparent, allowing her eyes to adjust after their time closed in protective stasis. Now, she remembered who she was and her purpose in being here. The taste of blood seemed like one of the things the doctors warned her about, but Jan could not remember. She considered it might also be the result of a violent collision. That would also have woken her up.
She heard over the PA, "Navigator, status report!"
For your weekends, I like to provide you with a long, luxuriant story that examines life in a time stream that my Department studies. This series is called "Weekend Worlds," and all of its posts are two parts, the first on Saturday, the second on Sunday.
This week's edition refers to a time stream where the Earth will be abandoned by humans at some point in the future. The story specifically tells what we know about the day when they finally return to their erstwhile home, when they rediscover where it is located.
Always,
Dr. John Skylar
Chairman
Department of Anachronism
University of Constantinople
Elements of consciousness slammed back into Jan's mind like arrows into a target. First, wakefulness. Then sight--darkness--hearing--piercing alarm--touch--cold metal--smell--medical, sterile--taste--blood.
Then her awareness came back. She yelled it aloud, as if compelled by ancient instinct, "LIEUTENANT JAN OLSEN, SERIAL NUMBER 3-6-5-9-2-8-2-9."
Her voice dropped, "Posting: Navigator and Mission Specialist, United Human Vessel Le Sacre du Printemps."
The ritualistic part of Jan's trained response over, the hatch that sealed her in slowly turned transparent, allowing her eyes to adjust after their time closed in protective stasis. Now, she remembered who she was and her purpose in being here. The taste of blood seemed like one of the things the doctors warned her about, but Jan could not remember. She considered it might also be the result of a violent collision. That would also have woken her up.
She heard over the PA, "Navigator, status report!"
Friday, September 18, 2009
Friday Seminar Series: The Laws of Physics (or, "The End of Anachronism")
Dear Readers,
As usual, on your Friday I post a short seminar that is taken from lectures from my introductory class, CHRN/AUG 100. This edition covers limitations to my work.
Specifically, I am talking about time streams that are impossible for me to study because of a variety of physical limitations.
The realm of possibility is a big one. Let's think back to physics classes for a minute: the universe, as your time stream has it, was created at a specific moment in a specific way. That time is Time = Zero for the entire Universe. From there, all physical choices happened using your kind of physics.
Before Time = Zero, at, let's say, Time = Negative One, the laws of physics as you conceive them break down. That is because the laws of physics as you conceive of them do not exist. I cannot go into too much detail for fear of preempting the entire scientific community of your time stream, but suffice it to say that there is a sort of shuffling event of physical laws that occurs/occured/will occur in the infinitesimal time period just before Time = Zero.
Image via Wikipedia
It just so happens that the laws of physics that you are used to, and thereby the chemistry, astronomy, and biology you take for granted, came out of one such shuffling event.
Ergo, if that reshuffle happened a little differently, the equations that sit to the left of this paragraph might have come up a lot differently. Basic things about life, the universe, and everything would be off the charts in terms of their differences. Life might not be possible, and certainly life would not be as you know it.
That means there are a lot of time streams where we get an utterly nonsensical signal from the Department of Augury. The time stream might have totally unreasonable physical laws, or it might be that any sentient life there has absolutely no means to to communicate that we are familiar with. It's possible that their only means of communication are in a medium that augury cannot reveal. There are a lot of different explanations for gibberish data, and you will encounter such gibberish data as an Anachronist.
The reason for the seminar, however, is to convince you that it's not a good idea to just skip gibberish. Yes, it is a good idea to work on the more understandable time streams and yes, you should have a career based on the perceptible. But it's easy to just discard a bunch of data that does not make sense to you, and far less easy to explore that data from time to time in hopes you might see patterns and make a major breakthrough in translation.
To sum up, what I say here is that there are limits to what our study can do. We can't see everywhere and everywhen because there are some places that just look like nonsense. I also say that it's important to avoid using nonsense as a catchall term that protects you from having to work too hard. Just because something looks like nonsense to you does not mean it is nonsense indeed. This is a vital lesson for the Anachronist who wishes his or her career to get off the ground.
Always,
Dr. John Skylar
Chairman
Department of Anachronism
University of Constantinople
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As usual, on your Friday I post a short seminar that is taken from lectures from my introductory class, CHRN/AUG 100. This edition covers limitations to my work.
Specifically, I am talking about time streams that are impossible for me to study because of a variety of physical limitations.
The realm of possibility is a big one. Let's think back to physics classes for a minute: the universe, as your time stream has it, was created at a specific moment in a specific way. That time is Time = Zero for the entire Universe. From there, all physical choices happened using your kind of physics.
Before Time = Zero, at, let's say, Time = Negative One, the laws of physics as you conceive them break down. That is because the laws of physics as you conceive of them do not exist. I cannot go into too much detail for fear of preempting the entire scientific community of your time stream, but suffice it to say that there is a sort of shuffling event of physical laws that occurs/occured/will occur in the infinitesimal time period just before Time = Zero.
Image via WikipediaIt just so happens that the laws of physics that you are used to, and thereby the chemistry, astronomy, and biology you take for granted, came out of one such shuffling event.
Ergo, if that reshuffle happened a little differently, the equations that sit to the left of this paragraph might have come up a lot differently. Basic things about life, the universe, and everything would be off the charts in terms of their differences. Life might not be possible, and certainly life would not be as you know it.
That means there are a lot of time streams where we get an utterly nonsensical signal from the Department of Augury. The time stream might have totally unreasonable physical laws, or it might be that any sentient life there has absolutely no means to to communicate that we are familiar with. It's possible that their only means of communication are in a medium that augury cannot reveal. There are a lot of different explanations for gibberish data, and you will encounter such gibberish data as an Anachronist.
The reason for the seminar, however, is to convince you that it's not a good idea to just skip gibberish. Yes, it is a good idea to work on the more understandable time streams and yes, you should have a career based on the perceptible. But it's easy to just discard a bunch of data that does not make sense to you, and far less easy to explore that data from time to time in hopes you might see patterns and make a major breakthrough in translation.
To sum up, what I say here is that there are limits to what our study can do. We can't see everywhere and everywhen because there are some places that just look like nonsense. I also say that it's important to avoid using nonsense as a catchall term that protects you from having to work too hard. Just because something looks like nonsense to you does not mean it is nonsense indeed. This is a vital lesson for the Anachronist who wishes his or her career to get off the ground.
Always,
Dr. John Skylar
Chairman
Department of Anachronism
University of Constantinople
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Primary Source: A Letter to the Chief Regulator
Dear Readers,
Yesterday's primary source, part of a a police report, was in reference to the
Image via Wikipedianarrative I wrote for Tuesday's Day in the Life story. Today I provide a primary source that explains further what actually happened in that story. This is written by the person who committed the crime in question, to explain to his superiors what happened. Since this individual has some information that the police of that time stream did not, it is far more enlightening.
Always,
Dr. John Skylar
Chairman
Department of Anachronism
University of Constantinople
To: the Chief Regulator, and any relevant members of the Regulatory Board
May 25th, 2006
This is an official incident report in light of the events of May 17th of this year, to explain my actions. As you know, I am an upstanding member of our community and in all of my actions I have strived to adhere to our operating agreement. Please keep this in mind as you read my account. In this case, circumstances forced me into some rash moves that might otherwise have required regulatory approval. I hope that my explanation here will justify retroactive regulatory approval.
On the evening of May 17th I arrived at Canter's Delicatessen in the interests of a continuing harvest operation. The purpose of my visit was a date with one of my flock, which I expected might provide an easy harvest opportunity. My last such opportunity presented itself at the end of April 2006, so you can understand that this was a meeting of great necessity for me. The particular flock member was named Lisa Gruenberg-Lopez, a waitress at Canter's. I met her at my nightclub in early May, and she seemed quite taken with me. I obtained board approval to add her to my flock on May 8th, 2006.
Yesterday's primary source, part of a a police report, was in reference to the
Image via WikipediaAlways,
Dr. John Skylar
Chairman
Department of Anachronism
University of Constantinople
To: the Chief Regulator, and any relevant members of the Regulatory Board
May 25th, 2006
This is an official incident report in light of the events of May 17th of this year, to explain my actions. As you know, I am an upstanding member of our community and in all of my actions I have strived to adhere to our operating agreement. Please keep this in mind as you read my account. In this case, circumstances forced me into some rash moves that might otherwise have required regulatory approval. I hope that my explanation here will justify retroactive regulatory approval.
On the evening of May 17th I arrived at Canter's Delicatessen in the interests of a continuing harvest operation. The purpose of my visit was a date with one of my flock, which I expected might provide an easy harvest opportunity. My last such opportunity presented itself at the end of April 2006, so you can understand that this was a meeting of great necessity for me. The particular flock member was named Lisa Gruenberg-Lopez, a waitress at Canter's. I met her at my nightclub in early May, and she seemed quite taken with me. I obtained board approval to add her to my flock on May 8th, 2006.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Primary Source: Police Report
Dear Readers,
To explain where I constructed yesterday's story, here is a primary source that supports the narrative. It's a police report, describing the interesting circumstances of the crime. You can see where the investigating officers did their best to try and understand just what happened.
This sort of primary source is particularly interesting to translate, because of the "official document" element. Tomorrow, I'll post another source that explains how I was able to fill in the blanks in the LAPD's report from that time stream.
Now, of course, it would be somewhat irritating to wade through the actual pages-long police paperwork, so I've provided the relevant text with regards to the incident, and left out extraneous details.
Always,
Dr. John Skylar
Chairman
Department of Anachronism
University of Constantinople
INCIDENT REPORT
REPORTING OFFICER: Lt. Thomas R. Cunningham, LAPD
Image via Wikipedia
On May 17th, 2006 at 19:45 I and my partner responded to a shots fired 911 call at 8025 Oakwood Avenue, North Hollywood. On our arrival, we found the home, currently owned by a real estate agency, unlocked, with two bodies, a male and a female inside. Their descriptions: the woman was of medium build, about 5'5", ~130 lbs, with dark hair, light skin, and green eyes. Likely of Caucasian/Hispanic descent. The man, a Caucasian who appeared to be in middle age, had grey to greying hair, gold/hazel eyes, and looked to be 6'2" and ~200 lbs.
The female's body had noticeable evidence of biting/animal attack in the neck area, though we are waiting for the Coroner's Report to determine the precise cause of death. While we saw similar wounds on the male, we also found a Smith and Wesson 6-shot longbarrel .38 police revolver on the body, as well as identified a cranial entry wound.
Identifying information was found on both bodies. This identified the female as one Lisa Gruenberg-Lopez, waitress at the nearby Canter's Delicatessen. The male's identification was for one Albert Stenson, though when we ran his license it appeared that this may be one of many aliases used by the liscensed Private Investigator Jonathan Wilfred Robertson. According to this information, their ages were 20 and 57, respectively.
To explain where I constructed yesterday's story, here is a primary source that supports the narrative. It's a police report, describing the interesting circumstances of the crime. You can see where the investigating officers did their best to try and understand just what happened.
This sort of primary source is particularly interesting to translate, because of the "official document" element. Tomorrow, I'll post another source that explains how I was able to fill in the blanks in the LAPD's report from that time stream.
Now, of course, it would be somewhat irritating to wade through the actual pages-long police paperwork, so I've provided the relevant text with regards to the incident, and left out extraneous details.
Always,
Dr. John Skylar
Chairman
Department of Anachronism
University of Constantinople
INCIDENT REPORT
REPORTING OFFICER: Lt. Thomas R. Cunningham, LAPD
Image via WikipediaOn May 17th, 2006 at 19:45 I and my partner responded to a shots fired 911 call at 8025 Oakwood Avenue, North Hollywood. On our arrival, we found the home, currently owned by a real estate agency, unlocked, with two bodies, a male and a female inside. Their descriptions: the woman was of medium build, about 5'5", ~130 lbs, with dark hair, light skin, and green eyes. Likely of Caucasian/Hispanic descent. The man, a Caucasian who appeared to be in middle age, had grey to greying hair, gold/hazel eyes, and looked to be 6'2" and ~200 lbs.
The female's body had noticeable evidence of biting/animal attack in the neck area, though we are waiting for the Coroner's Report to determine the precise cause of death. While we saw similar wounds on the male, we also found a Smith and Wesson 6-shot longbarrel .38 police revolver on the body, as well as identified a cranial entry wound.
Identifying information was found on both bodies. This identified the female as one Lisa Gruenberg-Lopez, waitress at the nearby Canter's Delicatessen. The male's identification was for one Albert Stenson, though when we ran his license it appeared that this may be one of many aliases used by the liscensed Private Investigator Jonathan Wilfred Robertson. According to this information, their ages were 20 and 57, respectively.
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